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A dream achieved?

August 6, 2012

I’ve just come back from a bike ride – there is no better feeling than cycling down a quiet country lane with a warm breeze and a blue sky.

It occurred to me that I have achieved what I set out to do.

We are not quite there financially, but we are getting closer to our goal.

But in terms of lifestyle, this was all I wanted.

This freedom.

The freedom to go for a bike ride in the middle of the afternoon.

The freedom to enjoy the warm breeze with hardly a care in the world.

To enjoy the breeze without that knot of tension inside me, that worry about the huge deals, that followed me for years and years.

We still work hard – most days I am so busy that I wouldn’t take time out for a bike ride, but I tend to work best in the evening, and had a very hot day in Norwich, so it was great to cool down and have a few hours break with my son.

Six years ago, in the school summer holidays, I dropped him off with his grandmother on the South Downs in Sussex and wished with all my heart that I didn’t have to go back to the office and face all the staff problems, the big deals, the constant stress as a partner in a West End firm of lawyers.

I wished with all my heart that I could sit on a hill with my son and enjoy the sunshine.

The law had been great for 16 years – I had achieved partnership at a time when women were still struggling to the top, I had travelled to the Far East with my clients, I had dealt with huge multi-million pound deals, but I had got to the point where I wanted a different life.

A life where I wasn’t worrying all the time, with a knot in my stomach.

A life where I could choose to sit on a hill with my son in the middle of the day.

At the time I couldn’t conceive of how I would achieve that – I couldn’t imagine how I could manage without my lawyer’s salary.

But as soon as you know that you want something, you find a way to get it, and with a few calculations, and a week sitting on a Norfolk beach just thinking and thinking, my dream suddenly didn’t seem so unattainable.

And here I am, six years later, out on a bike ride in the middle of the afternoon with my son – a dream come true.

From → Personal

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